A few months ago, I pinned these socks to my Wish List of Things I Want board on Pinterest. I meant that I wanted the actual socks but apparently the universe thought I meant literally.
After a tough but thorough leg day, I was practicing my posing. In case you’re lost on what exactly I’m referring to, the stage walk along with the flexing poses for a figure contest is not just something you do on the fly. It takes weeks or in my case months of practice to get down pat. By comparison, bikini class posing was a breeze. I just needed to walk in 5 inch heels with style and grace. I didn’t really need to flex anything.
Figure posing is a whole nother animal. The heels are still there, but now I have to add in flexing like a muscled beast in several poses… while looking relaxed. Yes, I just laughed out loud at the thought when I typed that. As if. I may as well announce that I need to walk a tightrope across Times Square at this point. I’ve managed to flex either the top half of me or the bottom half of me. Neither while looking relaxed and neither at the same time. But I digress from my original point.
I was practicing my posing today and was told that I my glutes are too small. Sigh, yes. I have an inadequate backside. Something I inherited from my father and something that is proving to be quite difficult to fix. I can gain weight to make it larger, however losing weight makes it pretty much fall off. I have no junk in my trunk and somehow I need to find some.
The remedy is heavier weights and more glute work which includes my favorite move of all – squats. Please don’t miss my virtual sarcasm with accompanying eye roll. So next time you see me in the gym, I’ll be wearing the socks along with this shirt. Try not to laugh at the look on my face nor my outfit. It’s not polite to point and stare.
No glutes were injured in the writing of this post. Ain’t that a kick in the pants. Feel free to insert your silly glute joke below. Have a great weekend!
PS – For those that don’t know my sense of humor, I hope you understand that this post was written purely for entertainment purposes as I fully understand that there are real problems in the world today. I just wanted to bring a little humor into your weekend.