It’s like that Tim McGraw song Live Like You Were Dying. If you knew exactly when you were going to go, what would you do differently today? What would you not put off for later because you knew later wasn’t coming? Would you live more in the moment so as to not miss any little detail of what was happening? I can’t say I’d ride a bull for 8 seconds but it might be cool to try!
In the process of Contemplating a Higher Power, you almost can’t help but consider the eventual end of life. In a positive way, of course. This is the Happiness Project not doom and gloom. I want to make sure that when I go I’m going with a smile on my face and no regrets. I spent many years sitting on the sofa, not doing much. I went to work, I came home. I didn’t do it on purpose but it just sort of worked out that way.
There was a defining moment when I realized just how much I was missing out on. It’s a silly story actually. The Kid and I were at a local festival a few years ago. She wanted to ride the ferris wheel. It wasn’t even one of the huge ferris wheels – maybe 3 stories high.
I reluctantly agreed since she really wanted to and wasn’t tall enough to ride alone. I have a huge fear of heights and for some reason I completely forgot that you don’t just get on the ferris wheel and it spins around for a minute or two. You actually get on and they slowly move you up in height as they load the other cars. Until the wheel is full, you don’t really spin. You just agonizingly inch higher and higher.
You get where I’m going with this. I didn’t figure it out until we were on and I was floating above the earth in purgatory for 10 minutes of loading. By the time the thing got spinning for real, I was in a full blown panic attack terror. One of those seriously psychotic moments where it was all I could do to not jump off to my death. It was that bad. I threatened The Kid within an inch of her life to not rock the car.
I white knuckle gripped the seat with my eyes closed the entire time fighting the panic. At one point, I opened my eyes and saw The Kid sitting across from me perfectly still… terrified to move and not having a lick of fun because of me. That was the moment that I decided I had to change and step outside my comfort zone. I got off the ferris wheel glad that I had resisted the urge to leap off mid-air to end the terror, and I started looking for challenges to face and things to do.
It wasn’t until I made a conscious effort to start doing things little by little that it became a part of me. At first it started with a few interesting Groupons for classes to try out. Then it morphed into finding things even if there wasn’t a Groupon. Now The Kid also comes up with ideas for us to do. I love the challenge of figuring out what next. I live life with enthusiasm so that if I go, I’m most likely going doing something that I love.
My goal this week is to Approach Life With Enthusiasm and add a few more things to my Quest List. I’ve knocked a lot of things off recently and decided that I need to dream bigger. I’ve taken classes, gone on a few small adventures, but now it’s time to aim high with enthusiasm and make firm plans to do them. To live as if I were going out at any moment, and have a Hell of a time in between now and then.
What would you do today if you knew you wouldn’t be around tomorrow? What is one thing you’re going to add to your bucket list? Do you hate ferris wheels? Hmmm, I never have gotten back on one. Maybe I should add that to my list. Ugh. 😉
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